


Prophet and Gain

by madamelibrarian



Series: One-Shots & Reader Inserts [37]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, M/M, Pining, Post-Episode: s14e12 Prophet and Loss, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 16:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17687090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamelibrarian/pseuds/madamelibrarian
Summary: There was so much left unsaid between Castiel and Dean in that hospital hallway. When left alone for long enough, without pressing matters diverting their attention, will they finally say all that needs to be said?





	Prophet and Gain

 

 

Castiel sat sullenly in the back seat staring out the window as Sam disappeared through the rest stop doors. For the last two hours, they'd been on the road the silence in the vehicle was thick enough to cut with a knife. Not that Castiel didn't have plenty to say. It was just all too much. What he wanted to do was grab the hard-headed hunter by the shoulders and shake him as he shouted out how he loved him. Not as a brother. Not as a friend. It was deeper than all of that and more terrifying than Hell. Castiel had to wonder which would be worse. To know that Dean was interred for all eternity and at the mercy of an insane Archangel or to admit his love and be rejected for it. Or worse. Find happiness to only have it torn from his fingers by The Empty.

"You're pretty quiet back there, Cas. More than usual. Everything okay?" Dean asked, glancing back at the angel through the rearview mirror.

The question earned Dean a scowling glare, "I think that is an asinine question and you should be well aware of why."

Rolling his eyes, Dean dropped his head into his hand and started to rub the bridge of his nose, "I'm not going to get into this again. I already said that I'm going to keep hanging on. What do you want from me? A contract in blood?"

"Would that stop you from going through with it?" Castiel asked, his scowl softening minutely before he shook his head, "Probably not. Once you have your mind made up it's easier to carve tunnels in mountains with a needle than change it completely."

"Hey!" Dean twisted around in his seat so he could actually be eye to eye with Castiel. "I can change my mind when it matters. But with this..." he paused to think of the best way to say it without getting into an all-out argument with him about it. "If there's another way then fine. We'll follow it through, but there's not. Otherwise, Billy wouldn't have shown me that book."

"And you'd like us to weld you in that coffin without protest." Castiel averted his gaze back toward the parking lot as the muscles in his jaw twitched with the clenching of his teeth. "I can't promise that. Sam might but I refuse to be your jailer and executioner. You're-" Castiel swallowed thickly around the suddenly tight feeling in his throat. "You're too important." The admission came out before he had a chance to swallow the words and as soon as they were out, he was scrambling out of the car with the sudden need for air. Space. Distance. His instinct was to fly away and keep flying until he couldn't feel any of the jumbled feelings of sorrow and hopelessness melted away.

He watched Castiel charge out of the car and followed after him, fearful that the angel was about to run off.  It was like a stab to his heart every time he took off without so much as a word and then wouldn't return for weeks on end. Of course, he worried when Sam went off on his own for a hunt, but he always knew that his brother would be back. With Castiel, he'd watched him die at Lucifer's hands and ever since he was terrified something like that would happen again. That Castiel would leave and not give him a chance to show him how much he cared. How much he wanted him to stay. But there was always the ghost of his father whispering in the back of his mind and staying his tongue. Making Dean call Castiel "brother" or "friend" when he knew it wasn't true. Not in his heart.

Before Dean could ask where Castiel was going he spun around on his heel and grabbed Dean by the lapels of his jacket. With a firm jerk of canvas, Castiel pressed his lips against Dean's, doing what he should have done years ago. All the consequences be damned.

As soon as Castiel kissed him there was a blind moment of panic. Like he was expecting someone was going to see and attack them for it. He laid hands on Castiel's shoulders with the intention of pushing him away but the kiss ended before he could do anything and he was left feeling degrees colder for the lack of physical contact. "Wha-?"   
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have...not like that." Castiel said softly, instantly regretting his impulsiveness.

"Why did you then?" Dean was confused from top to bottom and he was trying to piece together what was happening. Because this was something out of the deeper corners of his fantasies. Feeding the part of him he'd been taught to hide away and now that he'd had a taste he wanted more but not if it cost him a friend.

Castiel's face fell into something akin to grief as he looked into Dean's eyes. He could feel his heart sinking with every passing moment but there was no way out now. No way to convince Dean that it was a mistake or foolishness gone amok. "Because, Dean." he started, voice cracking minutely, "I love you. I've loved for a very long time now and if you're going to lock Michael away at least you'd do so knowing someone loved you more than a sibling."

Dean inhaled sharply and took a single step back as he regarded Castiel. It was shocking, to say the least. The thought had never crossed his mind that Castiel could or would feel anything for him other than filial fondness. Sure, he'd had a few dreams (or quite a few) over the years but nothing like this. The question was should he give in to it. Could he give in considering what he was planning?

As he looked into those pleading blue eyes that seemed to be saying 'don't throw me away', he realized that regardless of what the future held maybe they could have this for now. Stepping back into Castiel's personal space he gave him a soft answering kiss, not quite ready to say the words back but he felt the hope of them. He knew love didn't conquer all but it gave him the faith to keep trying.


End file.
